Don't Draw Focus! Got a killer idea for a scenario? One of those ones that sets the imagination churning? One that makes people unable to wait to play it? Great! Now, don't mess it up. The most obvious way to get it wrong is to fail to deliver what's promised. A Small Rebellion is a very good scenario - we get promised a dilemma, and that's exactly what we get. There is no clear "right choice". Every character we meet makes us lean one way or the other, and so does every event we take part in. Right up to the point where we are forced to choose, we may not have decided where our loyalties lie. That's a dilemma, and that makes for a great scenario. Compare this to The Za-Khazi Run. It's a great concept - Rush to deliver aid to a besieged fort before it's too late. However, that isn't what we get when we play the scenario. We expect to hurry (after all, the word Run is in the title) - and the scenario forces us to wander and explore. We expect a scenario about saving a beseiged fort - and we get a scenario about wheeling and dealing with sliths, liches and dragons. The only times we think about our actual mission and the cargo we carry are at the very start of the scenario and at the very end. The rest of the scenario could be lifted out and placed in the middle of Avernum 1 and no one would know the difference. This is somewhat related to my article on Filler, by the way. Because as it stands, Za-Khazi Run is mostly made of filler. What would I do if I was making Za-Khazi Run? I would stop drawing focus and go back to that exciting concept. Forget all the distracting subplots with giants and unicorns, I'd make our core story - the run to Fort Cavalier - the star of the scenario. I would force the player to think at every turn "How do I save Fort Cavalier?" instead of making him think "How do I cut a deal with Morog?". First off, the scenario should be shorter. It's just too big to maintain the kind of intensity that it needs to work properly. Secondly, I'd give the party a few companions. These guys can constantly remind you of your mission and give an opportunity for division within the group. Finally, I'd make that time limit much tighter - if you're gonna make me run, make me RUN! The conflicts should remind us of the main story, not distract us from it. Say there's a big bunch of giants blocking our way. We can't beat them in open combat. Our companions speak up. We could try to find a way around them... but that will waste time. Or we could use some of the wands to smash through them... but they need these wands at Cavalier. You have to decide, which is the best way to save the Fort? Further on, there are some people in trouble. You're in a hurry. Do you leave them to die and save the Fort, or rescue them and risk letting many more die? Then, maybe one of your companions thinks you're not going fast enough, and that one person alone could get there much faster. You refuse, and he steals the wands and runs ahead. But then he gets killed and the wands are taken. You have to find them again before it's too late! That is a scenario that I would want to play - a scenario with an exciting premise and that doesn't draw focus from that premise. - The Creator